I hate waking up knowing that the moment you have when you open your eyes is the best you'll feel all day. It's a depresssing enough thought but knowing it turns into reality is soul destroying. My mind is getting worse by the minute. Today sorted out some lego for a trade and had to go into the back bedroom to pull out boxes. After struggling to pull the boxes out and put them back I come downstairs to find I have sorted the bag out and put it back in the same place. What a numpty. I am now very worried about how I will go on when I get to work where you need to be on top of things. Should I mention it to people? Guess I will have to and see what they say.
Heather still seems to be angry and I cannot seem to tell her my thoughts without it seeming like I am cricising. Told her last night that I hate it when she repeats the same thing over and over but when I tell her she thinks I am snapping. How to put over my ideas without her getting defensive?
Bad black thoughts last night and it always boils down to the same thing. I do not really like my life. Fed up with it all.I would gladly go tomorrow but how to do it without upsetting her. If she could find happiness without me I would gladly just die. Sad state of affairs when you are this low. Cannot see any light at the ened of the tunnel either. It just seems I will go switching medication and the rollercoaster of feelings for the rest of my life.
Need to end on a postivie note really so will just say looking forward to setting up the blu-ray. Didn't get rund to doing it yesterday and quite excited about it really
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